Even if you have never engaged in BDSM, you must find the concept intriguing, at least. It is stigmatized and therefore whispered, as everything that seems mysterious or forbidden attracts attention.
However, despite its reputation, it is neither dangerous nor shameful. To break the stigma around it, we will discuss the concept with an emphasis on the gear you can use during your play.
WHAT IS BDSM?
As a beginner, you may find this kinky concept somewhat overwhelming. That is why we will start with the basics instead of diving right into the topic of toys. Including this erotic practice in your sex routine calls for more information than books and movies dealing with the subject can offer.
Before you start experimenting with BDSM equipment, you need to be certain that you have an affinity for kinks. To determine if you do, you must break the ice and talk to your partner. Open communication is crucial for this kind of relationship.
Firstly, you have to learn the difference between BDSM and abuse. Although it usually involves pain, a BDSM relationship is consensual, and it must not be confused with abuse. It should never be an excuse for harmful and unwanted behavior. More importantly, involvement in this kink is not a justification for abusive behavior, either.
BDSM is an umbrella term, standing for three major kinks — Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, and Masochism. Of course, those are not mutually exclusive. Moreover, it is a subculture and an inclusive community.
HOW TO MAKE SURE YOUR BDSM PLAY IS SAFE
Given the circumstances, it is paramount that you put yours and your partner’s safety first. Before you engage in this relationship, you should talk to each other about your expectations, wishes, fantasies, and fears. You need to respect each other’s boundaries, as well as the BDSM code — safe, sane, and consensual.
However, setting your limits does not guarantee that every part of the experience will be enjoyable. That is why you need to choose a safeword. Think of something memorable that does not have a sexual connotation. If a scene becomes overly intense for either one of you, you can use your safe word and stop it.
BDSM SEX TOYS
Although you can enjoy BDSM without using any equipment, including kinky sex toys in your routine can enhance the experience. The market abounds with BDSM gear, and although extreme sex toys may seem intimidating, they are anything but. If you use them correctly, they can help you live out some of your wildest fantasies.
If you are into pain play (as many bondage enthusiasts are), you may find the effects of whips or a pair of nipple clamps pleasantly surprising. They come in a variety of shapes, sizes, and materials and may include special features, such as electric stimulation.
In case being tied up (or tying your partner up) is how you imagine a BDSM scene, you will be interested in a wide range of bondage toys available. Since power exchange plays a crucial part in the experience, bondage gear includes a variety of toys — from restraints , such as handcuffs, rope, bed restraints, and bondage tapes, to harnesses, such as sex swings.
Finally, we must not forget about dildos and butt plugs. Teasing is one of the essential elements of BDSM. Anal and vaginal sex alike can prove to be rather intense if you use one of the toys mentioned above to tease your partner beforehand. Don't forget, lube is important! It's best to secure a water based lubricant within arm reach from where you're planning to take your scene.
CAN YOU DO BDSM ALONE?
In case you are single but would like to engage in BDSM, we have good news for you. You do not have to have a partner to enjoy this pleasure play. In fact, there is a variety of different scenarios you can do alone. All you need is some creativity and your BDSM kit.
First of all, you need to do some research to determine which kinks you would like to try. Afterward, you can browse through a vast selection of sex toys according to your preference or visit your local sex shop and choose the products you need.
You can be your own dom and sub at the same time. For instance, you can apply an electro-stim sex toy.and control the intensity of electricity so that the experience is enjoyable for both your inner sub and dom. You can also try edging and postponing your orgasm for as long as you can. You may need a will of steel to achieve that, but the results can prove to be rather rewarding.
FINDING A BDSM PARTNERDespite the wide range of possibilities when it comes to solo BDSM sex, not everyone is into it. If you wish to have a partner with whom you can experiment in the bedroom, you also have a wide range of options. It may be intimidating to approach someone and reveal your fetish and fantasies, especially since this kink is still stigmatized. However, there are ways to find a dom or a sub without compromising yourself.
Remember that the BDSM community is an inclusive one. The information is of great significance because joining the community can open the door for numerous exciting encounters with many interesting people. You can find a local BDSM club or join a forum and meet people whose preferences are complementary to yours.
When it comes to BDSM, the selection of gear is quite impressive. However, including ball gags, cuffs, and other kinky toys and accessories in your sexual routine implies a certain amount of responsibility. Use them wisely to avoid harming yourself or your partner. Keep in mind what BDSM is all about — safe, sane, and consensual sex.